Running and Friendship, or the Myth of the Lonely Long Distance Runner

One of the great things about running is time alone, in the relative silence provided by being "unplugged" from the world. However, some of my best runs have been done with fellow runners. The conversation, mutual challenge to keep up a strong pace, and the sheer fun of running with someone make these types of runs worthwhile. Most runners know the value of friendship in the context of our running, but there is more to it. Aristotle emphasized the importance of friendship in his writings on the ethical life. The highest kind of friendship, friendship based on virtue, is what we need to be truly happy. In this kind of friendship, there is a shared vision of the purpose of life, and a deep trust between the friends. This requires time, familiarity, mutual good will, and mutual sacrifice. Running provides a context for such friendships to flourish.

Running together, because it involves meeting challenges together, and being with your running partner away from computers, cell phones, and televisions frees you up to develop a deeper friendship. Running 5 miles with someone on a regular basis provides ample opportunity for familiarity, trust, mutual good will, and mutual sacrifice to develop. In the May 2005 issue of Runner’s World, John Bingham, a.k.a. “The Penguin,” reflects on the nature of the friendships of runners. Bingham quotes the German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, who said that “Exhaustion is the shortest way to equality and fraternity.” Expanding on this idea, Bingham observes that the types of friendships you develop with your running buddies enables you to “go past age, gender, ethnicity, social status, and all of the initial criteria we normally use to judge people.” There is something to this. On the road, your socio-economic status won’t help you run faster. Older runners are able to challenge younger ones. Women outrun men. But it’s not all about speed (especially for the Penguin!). Bingham contends that one reason many runners run slower is that they want the social interaction that running provides.

So what does this mean for runners, in practical terms? Aristotle would advise you to go out for a run, if that is something that you love to do. And while you’re at it, he would say, take a good friend with you.

(Portions of this post are from "Chasing Happiness Together: Running and Aristotle's Philosophy of Friendship," Running and Philosophy (Blackwell, 2007), chapter 2.